What are we even doing here?

Have you ever just… had an idea and run too far with it and ended up so far out of your depth your metaphors are so mixed your a little scared.

Well, this is that, in interwebz text form.

Am I an alcoholic? that’s the question isn’t it. I mean the answer is yes, it must be. I am not what I was shown alcoholics as being as a kid, Hollywood and the BBC have a lot to answer for there. I’m not violent, destitute, homeless, a man. Yet, here we are with me writing this, shouting into the void to make an attempt at accountability and, if nothing else, inch my way toward being “better”.

Whatever that looks like.

Alcoholic is a big word to throw around, its an accusation with heft and weight, even if I’m throwing it at myself. So why!. Well, lets look at yesterday.

First drink, 1 pm, lunchtime, a G&T (this will emerge as a theme). I needed that drink, so I had it. Drinking at lunchtime whilst working at hime would’ve appalled me previously but now its just… lunchtime. Finished work at five, another G&T. Doubles of course because we’re not messing about.

Pop to the shops for food, then another G&T whilst prepping, another whilst cooking, and another 4 after that.

Go to bed sober, at least “not drunk”, not the laughing staggering about drunk, not the oblivious to the world drunk, but the medicated craving more drunk of someone who is chasing a goal further and further out of reach.

So here we are, a blog. Let see where this goes